Occasionally I like to unwind with a viewing of a mindless, but nevertheless, hilarious movie on DVD and gorge on junk food till I feel like munting. One such occasion was the other day, when I decided to pull out an old favorite, Zoolander. As a pharmacist, one of my most loved moments is when Mugatu (his part ingeniously interpreted by comic mastermind, Will Ferrell) exclaims:
"Who cares about Derek Zoolander anyway? The man has only one look (Lord's name taken in vain deleted)! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigre? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!"
Having spent a few hours at work today, I can relate to how he may have felt. Once in every blue moon, there are moments when I wonder if I am the only sane person alive. Most of the time our customers are great, or at least ok to deal with. But today felt like Rudd had declared a nationwide "idiot day", in celebration of all things ignorant, half-witted, and self-absorbed. To aid my recovery from this shocker of a shift, I thought it may be therapeutic to publish a list of things I'd love to say as a pharmacist, but can't cause I really shouldn't:
Things I'd love to say as a pharmacist, but can't cause I really shouldn't:
- please control your children
- will you just stop talking?! or Can I please get a word in?!
- your prescription took this long because we keep going over the same point/how are you not getting this?!
- who cares what flavour it is? It's medicine! It isn't supposed to taste good!
- the generic is the same. Same drug, dose and strength. Equivalent, No different. Identical. Parallel. Analogous. Synonymous. This means the different writing on the box will not improve your condition, since each tablet is composed of the same number and type of atoms arranged in matching configuration!
- the generic didn't cause that reaction. It's all in your mind
- spare me the victim routine
- it's such a minor problem - you don't need this medicine/it will go away by itself
- you need to wash more often
- it's disgusting when you eat fish and chips while I'm trying to talk to you
- you don't look cool when you wear sunglasses indoors
- put a shirt on. Nobody wants to see it
- Hey kid! This is a pharmacy, not a playground
- I can't sell you this sudafed since I believe you will sell it to an unlicenced backyard amphetamine lab
- I'm having a hard day, just gimmie a break
- I'm not sorry at all - that wasn't me, it was my colleague
- You're rude. Why should I put you ahead of everyone else who is waiting/I'll do yours first if you can get all these people who have been waiting 30 minutes agree to it
- if you're gonna talk on your mobile, then I'll serve someone else
- that guy is a bad doctor. You should get a second opinion
- just cause it helps you lose weight doesn't mean you can eat more
- instead of the morning after pill, I would prescribe self control and ditching your jerk boyfriend
- not you again!
- That's the price, and that's it! I didn't study for five years to work in a shop and argue with you about whether or not it costs less in Greensborough
- Just because you've been coming here 30 years doesn't mean you can have anything you want
I'm sure I could come up with more, but am starting to feel better. Maybe the crazy pills have a shorter half-life than I originally thought!
Cheers - Nath
3 comments:
hilarous!
Oh if only I could say what I was thinking when someone asks me a ridiculus question. It would make explaining that I can't tell people off the top of my head what books they have on loan because:
A- I don't remember which of the 900 patrons they are
B- I can't recall every loan ever made my any staff member and don't choose to read through the 3000 and something loans every 5 minutes!
- so much more enjoyable.
Nath...I need a new blog from you! (Not that I can speak...my last one was AGES ago!)
Post a Comment